"To Infinity and Beyond"
14 Dec 2011
 If you ask me, cosmologists’ new “Big Brain Theory” is proof positive that they’ve lost theirs. This new “scientific” brainlessness is derived from the absurd assertion of Ludwig Boltzmann—a 19th century Austrian physicist. According to Boltzmann, it is far more probable that a naked brain is formed by chance than is all of the reality that the brain thinks surrounds it. Therefore, the universe may be nothing more than something imagined by self-aware entities floating around in space. These entities are called “Boltzmann Brians” and the supposed soundness of Boltzmann’s argument is referred to by today’s cosmologists as the “Boltzmann Brian Problem.”
While I agree that some of today’s cosmologists definitely have a brain problem, I disagree that it has anything to do with explaining away Boltzmann’s absurd assertion of an illusionary universe populated by imaginative spooks in space floating around fantasying the existence of their nonexistent bodies, world and universe. Instead, the brain problem I see among today’s cosmologists is their mistaking of an insane assertion for a sound argument. To take Boltzmann’s lunacy seriously is irrefutable evidence of one’s mental deficiency.
I believe the accusation leveled against the Apostle Paul by Festus in Acts 26:24—“much learning is making you mad”—is most apropos for today’s cosmologists; that is, for those among them who argue for the possibility that we’re nothing more than naked brains floating in space. Based upon their evolutionary presumptions of eons of years, reoccurring universes and an endless cycle of Big Bangs, modern-day cosmologists are calculating the odds of free-floating brains and coming to the conclusion that there’s nothing farfetched about it in light of the gazillions of parallel universes that may be out there.
Paradoxically, Alan Guth, a cosmologist at the Massachusetts Institute of Technology, uses these same calculations to point out the high probability that a very small percentage of this infinite number of free-floating brains will prove to be normal and whole. The vast majority will be abnormal or mere fragments, in which case most of us can ill-afford to give others a piece of our mind, lest we run out of pieces. If Guth is taken seriously, then one is forced to conclude that this cockamamie theory of modern-day cosmologists is more than likely based upon the calculations of the cosmologists’ own abnormal minds. Why, then, should we put any stock in a harebrain theory that is by its own assertion more than likely the product of abnormal brains?
Jesus taught us that all things are possible with God (Mark 10:27). Today, however, all things appear to be possible with cosmologists, thanks to cosmologists’ supposition of the increased probability of impossibilities in an ever-increasing “megaverse” with eons behind it and infinity before it. Like Buzz Lightyear, one of the beloved fictional figures in Disney’s animated film Toy Story, present-day cosmologists boldly boast of going “TO INFINITY AND BEYOND.” Truly, it is here, in “infinity and beyond,” that everything becomes possible to contemporary cosmologists. To these current canvassers of the cosmos, anything is possible, even the unscrambling of an egg, as long as you give it enough time in the “multiverse.”
Sean Carroll, a cosmologist at the California Institute of Technology, insists that we “are doing cosmology” whenever we “break an egg and scramble it.” Since the atoms bouncing off one another in an egg are the same whether time moves forward or backward and whether the egg is unbroken or scrambled, it’s really just a matter of time—give or take a few gazillion years—before the random bumping of atoms produce the cosmic equivalent of a future unscrambled egg from a past scrambled one. One thing for sure, cosmologists like Carroll never have to worry about egg on their face, since they’ve always got “infinity and beyond” for their crackpot hypothesizes to be proven within.
According to Leonard Susskind of StanfordUniversity, “in an infinite universe…everything that can occur does occur, infinitely many times.” Obviously, this includes you. Right now in some parallel universe atoms may be bumping together in a way that looks, talks and thinks exactly like you. Is it you? If so, cosmologists have made another impossibility possible by their calculated probabilities in an infinite universe; namely, the possibility of being in two places at once.
Not only have today’s cosmologists made it possible with their calculators to unscramble eggs and for us to be in two places—parallel universes—at the same time, but they’ve also given credence to reincarnation. Despite modern-science’s claim that religious beliefs are far beyond the pale of real science, Dr. Andrei Linde, another Stanford cosmologists (there’s apparently no shortage of abnormal brains at Stanford), insists that “you yourself will re-emerge” subsequent to “some Big Bang in the far future.” Forget about the high probability of you being presently replicated in parallel universes; there is even a higher probability of you being reincarnated in some future universe? Talk about “déjà vu,” this adds a whole new meaning to it.
To Dr. Linde’s credit, he admits that the “Big Brain Theory” of modern-day cosmologists “sounds crazy.” However, he fails to fault its seeming silliness to the ridiculousness of the theory or to the idiocy of him and his colleagues. Instead, he attributes the theory’s apparent absurdity to the fact that simpletons like us are “not prepared for [such an intelligent] discussion” with brilliant intellectuals like him.
To think that today’s intelligentsia dubs me a dummy for believing what the Bible says—“In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth”—while acclaiming itself brilliant for believing in such balderdash as the “Big Brain Theory” is truly mind-boggling. It only goes to prove the lengths to which men are willing to go in their refusal to acknowledge God. Once God is acknowledged, we must face up to the fact of our accountability to Him. Such a frightening prospect causes many a sinner to embrace the absurdities of what is falsely called science so as to avoid the thought of ultimate accountability to God. As the Apostle Paul explained, it’s sin, not science that causes men to deny the Creator and embrace craziness (Romans 1:18-23).
Don Walton
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